Creating Space for Ourselves, Being a Space for Others
Creating space is a multifaceted concept that often appears in personal development or ancient teachings. The ideas of creating space and being a space for others can sometimes be confused. Creating space means giving yourself the chance to simply be. It’s the act of taking time for yourself, free from external influences or dependencies on people or situations. It’s about pausing amidst the rush of life. We often hear people say, “Sometimes life passes me by, and I feel like I’m not doing anything.” We feel like we’re just rolling along while everything happens so quickly. In moments like these, creating space for ourselves can be immensely beneficial. You can do this through breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, watching a movie you love, or pampering yourself with a massage (link) — and of course, anything that makes you feel good!
Every action you take for yourself without postponing it will create space for you. You can ask yourself questions like, “How do I feel right now?”, “What would benefit my body and soul?”, or “What do I need to beautify my life?” and take time to listen to your answers. As you create space for yourself, you become less judgmental and limiting toward yourself. You start recognizing your potential more clearly, and when making decisions, you’ll feel more calm and balanced. The only thing you need to create space is to make the choice. Even saying, “Today, I’m taking 15 minutes for myself” and doing absolutely nothing (not even checking your phone) can create space for you. Often, doing nothing is the hardest part. The mind is so accustomed to being constantly active that it gets surprised when we stop. Creating space is important for looking at and shaping our lives from a more objective perspective. (link to ‘create your own universe meditation’).
The smaller your space, the easier it becomes for others to invade your center. When thinking about creating space, feelings like, “Am I being selfish by taking time for myself?” may arise. But this is not about being selfish; it’s about being “self-focused.” It’s not about saying “me first” all the time, but rather being able to say “me first” when needed. When we place ourselves at our center, we project a balanced energy that reflects our self-worth to our surroundings and life. This energy also helps expand our aura, raising our frequency. <3
Being a space for someone else, on the other hand, involves respecting their space, listening without judgment or preconceived notions, and accepting them as they are, without trying to fit them into a mold. Being a space means not pushing the other person to be right. Instead of directing or interfering, it’s about conveying, “Go ahead as you wish, I’m here with you.” There are people in our lives who hold space for us, and when we talk to them, we think, “I’m so glad they’re here.” With them, we can talk about anything, and instead of feeling ashamed or guilty, we feel the relief of sharing and knowing we’re not alone.
Being a space requires just as much effort as creating space for ourselves. It’s about being connected to someone or a situation without being dependent — balanced and calm.
Of course, applying and maintaining these practices is not as easy as it sounds. We can start with small daily exercises. For instance, try not forming any thoughts about someone you’ve just met. When receiving services, avoid trying to solve people’s issues for them. They might be experiencing emotions much different from what we assume. Instead of trying to read minds, focus on listening. When someone shares something with us, try to listen without imposing our own beliefs; aim to be neutral, non-judgmental, and, if possible, see from their perspective. Sometimes listening — truly listening — can be more meaningful than words.
At the core, people long to be understood and accepted. Sometimes, we become a space for others, and our connections strengthen, and we feel it. And sometimes, we make the most confident decisions when we create space for ourselves. Being and creating space feels like taking a deep breath; it’s like noticing the difference between merely existing and truly living.
